Self-Care Archives - Page 5 of 5

I Can Run (and You Can, Too!)

March 3, 2015 By Heather 5 Comments

I can do it! — Lily’s message in the sand.

I did it!

Yesterday I reached my first running goal, which was to run 20 minutes without stopping. I actually ran for 23 minutes. I was amazed and thrilled. I didn’t think I’d reach my goal so soon.

Running has never been easy for me. My first experience with running was in school, when my PE teachers would make us run around the track. I hated it. It was hard, I wasn’t good at it, and I dreaded doing it. After graduating from high school, I happily left running behind.

In college, I discovered all sorts of fun physical education classes, such as swimming, horseback riding, rock climbing, ballroom and folk/square dance, and Project Adventure, a ropes course. I loved all my college PE classes. But I still had no desire to run.

Later on, I was going through a difficult time in my life, and I was inspired to start running and weight training at home. I had done weight training before, but I’d never really run. I did a run/walk program, and I vaguely remember working my way from run three minutes/walk one to running 20 minutes straight. I ran around and around in my secluded flat yard, and I enjoyed it even though it was hard.

It definitely helped me feel better, and I ended up in the best physical condition I’d ever been in. But over time I relaxed my work out regimen and stopped running for quite a few years.

Ready to Run Again

My decision to start again was prompted by my desire to get in better shape, feel better, and have more energy. Plus I have a few pounds to lose, and just eating low carb has only gotten me so far.

I started running in December before Christmas. My intention was to run three times a week, but in actuality it’s ranged from once a week to twice a week for the most part. I may have run three times in one week recently. I also took a long break for a bad stomach bug we came down with.

Shortly after I started my running, I decided to sign up for my first race! That’s been a fun motivator, along with my supportive husband, parents, and friends who’ve been cheering me on.

My goal is to try to run three times a week until the 5k, which is later this month on Pi Day. I know I won’t be able to run the whole thing without stopping. My goal is to do my best and run as much as I can. I am really happy about it.

Starting running has had so many benefits. I feel great after I run, physically and mentally. I feel glad for meeting my goal. I feel good knowing I’m valuing my health in a tangible way. And it’s a great feeling to make real, noticeable improvements in my fitness. It’s kind of magical how our bodies change through exercise.

After Googling beginner running plans, I started with five intervals of run three minutes, walk one. Then I moved to four 4/1’s. Then I made the jump to three 6/1’s, and then a breakthrough to running 10 minutes, walk one, run 13 minutes… ! That surprised me. After I did that, I was just hoping I’d be able to do it again. I didn’t want to go backwards.

Last weekend I was visiting my Mom when I managed to do it a second time. For some reason it was harder run for me, in spite of the fact that she lives in a totally flat area, whereas my neighborhood is a little hilly.

I have noticed that some days it’s harder, and some days it’s a little easier, and I’m not sure why that is. I assumed it had to do with my sleep and recent eating, but I’m not so sure.

The run on Saturday was extra special for me, because my daughter Lily ran with me for the first time. That was a lot of fun, and interesting to see how different her running was from mine.

Mother Daughter Duo — Lily and I after our run.

She would run at my pace sometimes, then stop to check out something on the ground… and then catch up and sprint past me, and ask me all sorts of questions that I wasn’t sure I had the breath to answer. And then after a while she was ready to stop, and I kept going.

At some point she scratched the message, “I can do it!” into the sandy road. I was so happy to read that, for her, and also for me.

At the end of the run, she was my teacher, and she led me through some stretching and breathing exercises that she learned in her PE class, which is much better than the the ones I had, for sure.

It was great, especially when we lay down and did savasana, at first looking up at the blue clouded sky, cooling wind on hot faces, and then closing our eyes and seeing swirling red, with tiny darker red dots. I told Lily I thought it was blood flowing through our capillaries.

Yesterday I was hoping I could do it again, the run ten minutes, run thirteen minutes, although I’d slept poorly the night before and felt dehydrated from inadequate water intake.

I set out from my house, and it felt pretty okay. Luckily I’ve planned my course to start out with a downhill to get me going.

One of the highlights early on was spotting Lily on the playground as I ran by the school. Her face lit up, and we waved at each other, and I blew her a kiss. With a final glance back and a wave goodbye, I kept on running.

When I reached ten minutes, I felt like I could keep going, so I did. And at 15, I still felt like I could keep going, so I decided to try for 20. When I got close to 20, I was going downhill, so I just kept going after that, until I decided to stop at 23 minutes.

I am so happy and can hardly believe I ran for more than 20 minutes straight. Woohoo! I’ve always felt like a non-runner at heart, but I can do it. I really can. I can start small and build up.

I am surprised at how quickly I reached my 20-minute goal, especially since I wasn’t running three, or even two times a week. But I do think this may have been a good thing, because it has allowed my body to recover better before running again.

I definitely want to avoid getting injured if I possibly can. My next goal is 30 minutes.

Inspiring Reads

As I began my recent running journey, I read a couple of good books about it.

One was called Running With Curves by Jill Angie. This was really encouraging and had a lot of good tips for beginners. One helpful tip she gave was to point out the difference between discomfort and pain that you need to pay attention to. Although of course you should trust your gut about this, just because you have some minor weird feeling doesn’t mean you need to stop.

The other book was Eat and Run: My Unlikely Journey to Ultramarathon Greatness by Scott Jurek and Steve Friedman. This was the most interesting book I’ve read in a while. It is the autobiography of Scott Jurek, who is an ultramarathon runner. (I didn’t even know what ultramarathons were before reading this book. Anyone up for a 50- or 100-mile race?)

In the book he talks about his childhood, in which he had to take on a lot of responsibility early on due to his mother’s MS, and his wild and crazy best friend Dusty, and how he got into vegetarianism for better health. It has running tips and recipes and a lot of asking why. It was very good.

How I Started

For how-to’s, I just did a little Googling for beginner running plans, and even though they’re a little different, the basic idea is the same, start small with run/walk and gradually increase your running. Basically I just moved up by going longer if I felt like it that day.

For supplies, I had my old “tennis” shoes and clothes that would work, but I needed a way to carry my phone without having to hold it, so I bought a FlipBelt , which works well. I also bought a digital watch so I could time my intervals.

I also ended up trying out the free Runkeeper app for my phone. At first I couldn’t get it to work, but I finally changed a GPS setting on my phone which made it work. It’s interesting to see my pace, and it’s an easy way to track my running.

Reflections

It hasn’t been easy. I encourage myself a lot in my mind. At first when I’d get to the really hard parts, I would remind myself that I’ve given birth twice, so I can do this! I’m sure I’ll use that one again.

At first I felt a little self-conscious about running in public, but I’ve pretty well gotten over that. I know that others really don’t care and are focused on their own lives.

And people are nice. Yesterday an older man I passed made an encouraging remark, and many people share friendly smiles as I pass them walking their dogs.

I run slowly. And that’s okay. Sometimes I consciously try to run as slow as I can so that I can run as long as I can without stopping.

And some days are harder than others, but they’re still valuable. They’re still taking me forward.

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I kind of love it. I hope it stays that way.

If you’re thinking of starting running, I highly recommend it. If I can do it, you can do it!

I can do things I didn’t think I could do.

I can do things that are hard.

One step, and then another, and just keeping on going will take me places.

How are you doing things you didn’t think you could do? I’d love to hear about it. And if you run or are thinking about starting, please tell me in the comments. <3

10 Gifts of Happiness

February 19, 2015 By Heather 2 Comments

1. Silence

Our lives as busy mamas can wear us out, not just physically, but also mentally.

Even five minutes of silent meditation can give your mind a much-needed rest. I like to meditate at the beginning of my toddler’s naptime. Another good time could be first thing in the morning.

Just sit quietly, close your eyes, and notice your breathing. When your mind wanders to thoughts, plans, reflections… just acknowledge your thinking, notice it, and let it go. Bring your focus back to your breath.

Meditation is all about coming back to the breath, to this present moment.

Give yourself a few minutes every day just to be.

2. Gratitude

Consciously thankfulness boosts happiness, and it’s totally free.

No need to wait until you have a pretty journal.

Make a list of everything you’re thankful for right now. Write it in a notebook or on loose leaf paper, or type it in Google doc or in Evernote.

If you’re out and about, you can record it using your phone. Or just make a mental list.

The simple act of noting all the goodness in your life—and feeling thankful—changes things.

3. Forgiveness

Nobody’s perfect. We all make mistakes. Being a mindful mama, it’s easy to heap on the guilt at times when we don’t live up to what we want to be and do as a good parent.

There is no such thing as a perfect parent. Of course you want to be the best mama you can be. If you are trying, good!

When you make mistakes, or feel like you didn’t live up to your ideals, think about how you can do better next time, and remember that you are not your mistakes.

You can apologize to someone, maybe your child, if you need to. Our children learn vital lessons by observing how their parents handle their mistakes.

As we lead by example and show our children how to deal with mistakes, repair relationships, and forgive ourselves and others, we are doing some of the most important work of parenting.

4. Fun

In the daily hustle it can be easy to run out of time for fun and play. Think of ways you can fit in more fun, both with your family and on your own.

As a family you can play games, sing songs, or watch a funny show.

When you take your kids to the park, make sure you play, too! Go down the slide, swing on the swings, climb on the jungle gym.

What did you like to do for fun as a child?

Did you like stickers or reading or scrapbooking or rollerskating? Collecting things? Playing sports?

In her book The Happiness Project, Gretchen Rubin talks about how as a child, she loved cutting out pictures and copying quotes she liked, and then matching them up in journals that she called her Blank Books. As part of her yearlong “happiness project,” she decided to try it again and loves it.

In my younger years, I loved writing letters. I’ve let that go, even though my Momma still regularly writes me sweet notes and cards. That is something I want to incorporate into my life again–writing letters and cards to my family and friends.

5. Friends

Speaking of friends, actually finding time to meet up with them can really be a challenge, between naps, pick ups and drop offs, work schedules, and just life.

Even though it isn’t easy, make sure you prioritize your girlfriend time.

Call them. Text them. Send dates and times that could work for you. Put a date in your calendars.

Connecting with friends online is also good, but make sure to get some real life face time with your friends. It is amazing how good it feels to connect with your kindred spirits.

6. Creativity

Do you love to paint? Write poetry? Dance? Sew?

Make time, even if it’s just a little, for your creative pursuits. A quick sketch, a living room dance, or some creative writing are such a good way to decompress and have fun.

Often you can combine family fun with creativity, such as joining in when your children are painting, drawing, or playing with playdough.

Make sure you do your own thing sometimes, too, so you can completely get in the zone for maximum creative bliss.

7. Productivity

I am a dyed-in-the-wool list maker.

It feels really good to cross things off my to do list, especially those things I’ve been resisting for whatever reason. I’m bad about putting things off that feel too hard for some reason, oftentimes for a reason I’m not even consciously aware of.

Think of something you’ve been putting off for a while. You keep moving it from one to do list to the next. Maybe it’s been there a week, or even months.

Maybe it’s an appointment you need to make, or some “hotspot” in your house you need to declutter. It keeps getting worse and worse and more and more overwhelming. The more you put it off, the more impossible it seems.

Now, before you actually do it, I want you to do a little 30-second exercise.

Imagine yourself doing your dreaded task. Literally do it in your mind. Feel what that feels like.

Now imagine yourself finishing your task. Imagine yourself feeling fantastic and happy and relieved at having gotten it done!

I bet you are actually feeling good right now. I hope you are! Our minds are amazing.

Next, estimate how long it will take you to complete the task. It may not be very long. For a phone call to make an appointment, maybe it will just take a few minutes. For a big decluttering project, maybe longer.

If it’s a bigger project, just commit to work on it for five minutes. That’s five minutes of progress that you wouldn’t have made otherwise. And sometimes that’s just enough to break the inertia of inactivity and resistance.

Finally, do your task, or your five minutes of your task, and feel great about it!

Cross it off your list with a flourish!

If it’s not completely done, that’s okay. Just write down “work on decluttering the side table” or whatever, and cross that off! (Yes, I do sometimes write things down and immediately cross them off.)

8. Goals

For the past three years I’ve been doing what I lovingly refer to as my “Leonie Planner.”

Leonie Dawson is an awesomely encouraging, fun, sweet, and totally inspiring, uniquely herself mama/blogger/entrepreneur. Her Amazing Biz + Life Planner is something I look forward to doing every year now, starting in January and working on it throughout the year. I love her colorful artwork and all the fun sections to fill out, including affirmations, self-care, 100 goals, and more.

Using her Amazing Biz + Life Planner is a great way to love yourself more. Doing it, even just reading through it, makes me a little bit happier. And it’s fun to set goals and check them off when you do them.

You don’t have to start it in January. I got my first one in April of 2013, and it was wonderful, encouraging, and empowering.

If you’d like to try it, you can use my affiliate link here or click on the image above.

9. Inspiration

Reading inspires me. Are there blogs you enjoy, that lift you up and leave you feeling sparkly or relaxed or full of energy and excitement for the day?

One of my favorites is Leo Babauta’s Zen Habits.

Reading autobiographies and memoirs can also be inspiring. I recently enjoyed Scott Jurek’s Eat and Run, in which he shares his life story and how he became an ultra runner, running races of over 100 miles. (I didn’t even know people did that before reading the book!)

A book I’m currently reading is The Creative Habit, by Twyla Tharp. I love her premise that creativity is fostered through a disciplined practice of sitting down to the work of creativity every day.

What inspiring books do you want to read or reread?

10. Mental Relaxation

I’m talking about getting everything you need to do out of your head and onto paper, so that you can relax and stop trying to remember everything.

I normally keep long lists of my “next tasks,” the things I need to do.

But over time, it’s easy for some things to slip off the list, even if they’re still on my mental to-do list. And some items never actually make it to the list, even though they’re on my mind.

They end up floating around in my subconscious. Occasionally they bubble up to the top of my awareness, and I’m like, “Oh, yeah! I need to that!”

But then they sink down to the floor of my mind again, where they cause stress, simply because some part of my brain is occupied with trying to remember that thing I need to do…

The answer is to take a few minutes and get it all out of your head and onto paper. Years ago I read Getting Things Done by David Allen, and this is one of my most useful takeaways from his method.

Take a sheet of paper, and just start writing. Everything, big and small, goes on your list.

Write it ALL down.

Not sure if you definitely want to do it? Write it down.

Not sure when you’re going to have time to do it? Write it down.

Is there something you want to read at some point and don’t want to forget about it? Write it down.

Write it all down.

Later you will think of more things. As they come to mind, write them down! Don’t let them sink back down into your subconscious.

There is an amazing calm that comes with doing this. It may be surprising to realize just how much you’re carrying around in your mind, trying to remember.

Now what?

After you’ve written everything down, categorize your tasks. For example, you can pull out the items that you’re thinking about doing but not sure of, or the items that you think you want to do but are not sure *when* you’ll be able to get around to them, and put them onto a “Someday/Maybe” list. You can also create a “reading” list.

I also keep a shorter daily to do list. But just having a place where everything is written down is a relief, especially if you’ve been carrying a lot in your mind.

Love Yourself

It makes us happy to give to our families, our husbands, our children.

But we need to remember how precious and valuable we are, too.

It is a beautiful example for your children to see a mama who loves herself.

You deserve to be happy.

What gifts can you give yourself today?

What I’m Doing For More Peace and Energy

November 19, 2014 By Heather 5 Comments

Recently I’ve been in a bit of a slump, feeling like there’s way too much to do and too little time.

And this is before any of my holiday to do’s have even made it to my list. Yikes!

So, I’ve decided to do nothing.

Just kidding (sort of!).

I’ve actually decided to make a new commitment to daily meditation.

And I’m going big.

Inspired by Eva Rawposa, I’m making my meditation a priority again and committing to meditate 20 minutes every day for a week.

You might be wondering how I got into meditation in the first place.

Go Away, Stress!

Last summer I started looking into meditation as a natural way to deal with stress.

I started reading about it on the internet, mostly looking for How to Do It. There were way too many links to transcendental meditation. No offense, but I don’t think anyone should have to spend thousands of dollars to learn how to meditate.

And then I turned to books.

After searching Amazon for books about meditation and reading tons of reviews as I love to do, I decided to order Quiet Mind: A Beginner’s Guide to Meditation, compiled and edited by Susan Piver.

In the book six different Buddhist meditation teachers share how to meditate. I started using the first chapter, which is called “Shamatha: The Practice of Tranquility,” by Sakyong Mipham, as a guide to my own meditation.

Sakyong Mipham explains that shamatha is the simplest form of sitting meditation and involves training our mind to come back to its natural state of being calm and clear. I can totally go for that!

In my Amazon search, I also found 10% Happier by Dan Harris with its five zillion five star reviews. I requested it from my library. After months of hardly moving up the list and an estimated wait time of approximately ten years, I decided to just buy it.

Boy, am I glad I did. I haven’t laughed so hard reading a book in a long time. Maybe ever. (Anne Lamott’s work is a close second, I think.)

In it he shares about his journey of learning about meditation after having a nervous breakdown on national TV.

I LOVED that book! It was such a surprisingly entertaining read. Dan is such a great writer… honest, smart, and funny.

With Dan’s book as more inspiration, I decided to meditate ten minutes a day.

Does It Work?

When I meditate daily, I feel more calm, less anxious, more mindful, and less reactive to people and circumstances. More often I’m able to think something, and think about those thoughts as an observer, so that life’s stresses don’t affect me quite as much–at least some of the time.

My experience of meditating has been that it’s good, and simple, and surprisingly hard. Letting go of thoughts, for me, ranges from somewhat difficult to extremely difficult.

To get behind the waterfall, and find the stillness in your mind, is not easy. Often I’m lucky to find that stillness for even two minutes out of ten.

My meditation practice has fallen by the wayside more often than not in the past few weeks. I think part of the derailing was due to several nights of really poor sleep with a sick toddler. And my cell phone struggles (which are finally over!). And just having so many other things to do, and not making it a priority.

Even on “normal” days, it can be really hard to fit it in.

With children in the house, quiet time is at a premium. If it doesn’t happen during naptime, or when Rose is at playgroup, or Lily’s at school, it doesn’t happen. And by the time the kids are in bed, I’m usually exhausted.

But all of these normal busy days of life, and all of the extra stressful times, are just exactly the reason why I need and want to make the time to meditate. To slow down, and let my mind have a break.

So, when I saw that Eva has developed a new a way of meditating and is looking for people to try it out, I jumped on the opportunity. Her method has helped her have more peace and energy, and those are two things I could definitely enjoy more of.

Today I am on day three of a seven-day commitment to meditate using her method for 20 minutes a day. At the end I’ll give her feedback on my experience.

Join Me

If you’d like to try it, too, she’s looking for more beta testers for her program, and if you’re a beginner, or someone without a regular meditation practice, that’s perfect.

It’s definitely a win-win for me, because I could use some added motivation to make it a priority. Plus I’m curious to see how upping my meditation from ten to 20 minutes a day affects my life. (Not to mention actually doing it every single day for a week.)

If you want to try out Eva’s program with me, that would be fun! Here is where you can check it out. (And by the way, I’m not getting anything by mentioning Eva’s program. I just thought you all might be interested in it, too.)

If you’re just starting out and don’t feel like you can commit to 20 minutes a day right now, I totally get it.

You don’t have to do 20 minutes… You can do ten, or even five.

Just commit to doing it daily for one week.

How to Meditate

Here is how I usually do it, although it’s not exactly how I’m doing it this week:

I definitely need to be alone in a quiet place.

I usually sit on my bed (breaking the “rules!”), or sometimes in a chair.

I close my eyes, and focus on my breath, without trying to control it or change it. I try to let go of thoughts. When thoughts arise, as they will, I mentally give myself a hug and consciously let go of them. I consciously do not judge myself for thinking. I accept my thoughts and then let them go.

And then I come back to the breath. Or I just pay attention to whatever I’m thinking or feeling.

What It’s Like for Me, Sometimes

It’s interesting to come to a place of noticing your thinking without identifying with it.

And sometimes I get to this place of quiet awareness. And that’s a really nice break from the constant torrent of thoughts.

Just to let you know, those moments are not long, maybe just seconds or a few minutes at most. I think that may increase as a I practice more.

Sometimes my mind wants to think, but I can make an effort to keep out the thoughts. It reminds me of how in Twilight, Bella has the power of being able to project an invisible protective barrier around herself and others. Sometimes I imagine something like this bubble, this force field, holding back my thoughts, protecting my peaceful state.

Sometimes I envision being at the bottom of the ocean, looking up towards the surface, with my thoughts as ships floating by.

And sometimes focusing on the breath turns into being aware of whatever is there, which the second chapter of Quiet Mind explains is vipassana, or “insight meditation.”

I will also say that sometimes it’s just a pure struggle. My thoughts are racing, and I have to come back to the breath over and over because thoughts keep on popping up. That’s normal, too. The goodness apparently is in the coming back, over and over. It’s a workout for your brain.

Meditation Is For Me and You

I’m not a meditation expert, but I don’t have to be to experience its benefits. And neither do you.

I don’t recommend trying to completely understand it before you do it. You really don’t need to. Just read some directions and do it without worrying about doing it just right or trying to achieve anything.

Join me in committing to make daily meditation a priority this week, and let’s see what happens!

Whether you commit to 20 minutes, ten minutes, or five minutes a day, I encourage you to try it.

I think we’ll emerge a little bit more refreshed and relaxed. I hope so!

Leave me a comment below and let me know when you’re starting and how many minutes a day you’re committing to. Hugs!

~Heather

Image Credit: The beautiful photo above was taken by DinosaursAreNotDead, courtesy of Flikr Creative Commons.